Analysis Of The Movie Rita Ha By Noah Baumbach

Chosen Clip: Clip 1 from Frances Ha (2012) Dir Noah Baumbach Directed by Noah Baumbach in 2012, Frances Ha follows young New Yorker Frances Halliday (Greta Gerwig) who, at age 27, is living with her best friend Sophie (Mickey Summer) whilst in an attempt to get her life heading in a succesful direction. The film examines and humanizes the importance of growing up in different cultures, experiencing the highs and lows of a sacred friendship, the realities of early adulthood and making sacrifices in order to get to where you need to be. The stand out aspect of cinematography used in this scene and Frances Ha as a film throughout is the careful choice by Baumbach to shoot digitally, but to edit the film as monochromic. Sam Levy (director of†¦show more content†¦Omtting colour and using natural lighting helps not only this scene but the entire story to develop as it provokes more concentration from the viewer into this raw dialouge and acting. The classical style of cinematography is used by Levy in shooting Frances Ha. The scene is shot with a steadycam – evident through a smooth pan following Dan from the couch to the kitchen. For the majority of the scene, the camera is fixed in one position on Frances and Dan through a mid shot as they are seated on the couch. This shot size is framed around the subjects for a measure of distance (Bordwell and Thompson, 2008). The pair are sitting very close together and the shot further outlines this by being close to the subjects – without being labelled as close up shot. It is a tight frame, with a tight fix on the subjects. This communicates to the audience that these two are a couple and they are very comfortable with eachother and have been for a long time. The depth of field and focus range is very slim. This is a result of the distance between the closet and farthest objects in the scene being very small. Baumbach wants to focus soley on the characters in this sc ene as the position of the frame is extremely neutral. The lens is level with the pair sitting down on the couch with no high or low angles used. For Baumbach, it was not a case of symbolic cinematography, but instead to provide a more a neutral perspective to develop the

The Effects Of Sleep And Sleep Deprivation On The Body

Michael Ly Professor Hayley Thayer COMM 130 28 September 2014 The Effects of Sleep and Sleep Deprivation Has on the Body. Specific Purpose: To inform the audience about why we need sleep and what happens if you are sleep deprived. Thesis: Sleep is crucial for any living creature and lacking an adequate amount of sleep is detrimental to health. Introduction Attention Getter: Many of us will spend about a third of our lives sleeping, yet don’t know why we need sleep or how important it is for the body. Did you know you can die faster from sleep deprivation than food deprivation. Credibility Statement: I am a person who suffers from sleep deprivation, I generally only have about 4 hours worth of sleep everyday. I am extremely fascinated about sleep and the impact it has on the body since it is something that affects all living creatures. Preview of Main Points: First, I will discuss why we get sleepy. Second, I will discuss why we need sleep. Third, I will discuss the effects of sleep deprivation. II. Main Point: Causes of Sleepiness Transition: We all know that sleep is important for the body but why do we get sleepy? The amount of light that our eye receives during the dusk and dawn creates or suppresses hormones that help us sleep. Our eye has intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells (ipRGCs) containing the photopigment melanopsin enable pupillary light responses, photic resetting of the circadian clock, and other sightless visual responses. When we see artificialShow MoreRelatedThe Effects Of Sleep Deprivation On The Body798 Words   |  4 Pagestasks? Sleep is the answer to this question. What is sleep? Sleep is when the human body is unconscious. Once unconscious the body will restore the energy it needs for the next day. Sleep is vital to everyone. A human body needs sleep to restore the powers of the body. Some causes of being sleep deprived include a poor diet, stress, and hormonal imbalances. The effects of sleep deprivation include health problems, and depression. First of all, there are several causes of sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivationRead MoreSleep Deprivation And Its Effects On The Brain And Body905 Words   |  4 PagesWhile loss of sleep must be required at times, sleep deprivation has become a problem worth addressing because it is a very common sleep disorder which can adversely affect the brain and cognitive function. However, It has many effects on a human brain such as depression, memory lapses or loss, and symptoms similar to ADHD. In order to identify what sleep deprivation is, it is necessary to understand how sleep is a necessity for the human brain and body. Sleep is the most important part of one sRead MoreSleep Deprivation Essay901 Words   |  4 Pages Most teens do not know what sleep deprivation is, it occurs when a person fails to receive enough sleep at night. A teen need nine hours of sleep to not feel sleep deprived also to be well alert and rested for the next day. Its more than important to manage enough sleep for the next day or experiences regarding the effects of sleep deprivation will occur. Many teens definitely have experienced sleep deprivation and may not have known how serious it is along with how bad it can affect them. TeenagersRead MoreSleep Deprivation Persuasive Speech1577 Words   |  7 PagesChronic Sleep Deprivation Introduction: A. Attention Getting Opening: Over the past ten to twenty years, academic demands placed upon college students have increased significantly, this has lead to an increase in workload and amount of time needed to study for a specific course. Today, college students represent the most sleep-deprived division of the population in the U.S. (Sleep and Memory). According to Gayla Martindale, 63% percent of the students who attend college do not get enough sleep, whichRead MoreSleep Deprivation And Health809 Words   |  4 PagesHow does sleep affect health? Studies show that the body needs to receive 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Many people especially in college, may only get half of this amount. Sleep deprivation is very common in the United States. What exactly is sleep deprivation you may ask yourself? Sleep deprivation is when you do not get a satisfactory amount of sleep. Effects of sleep deprivation are fatigue, weight gain/loss, and reaction time. Sleep deprivation is very common among teens and young adultsRead MoreThe Effects Of Sleep Deprivation On Teenagers939 Words   |  4 Pagesextended schedule for teenagers can cause many problems such as sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation in teenagers can cause a lot of problems, in addition to that sleep deprivation is the leading cause of sleep disorders and depression. Sleep deprivation in teenager can have negative effects in their lives, especially academically and socially. There are different causes of sleep deprivation, two of the main causes are, Technology and Sleep Disorders. Teenagers in today’s society students are plagueRead MoreCause And Effect Essay Sleep Deprivation1134 Words   |  5 PagesEssay 4 Cause and Effect Essay Sleep Deprivation Cause and effect Essay Sleep deprivation Most people have at least stayed awake for the entire night once during their lifetime. This behavior is common amongst individuals enrolled in High School or pursuing University degree. One might wonder how lack of sleep for the night impact him/her. However, it has being proven that being awake for 24 hours has unpleasant effects on health.So why is sleep so important? How does lack of sleep impact one’s moodRead MoreEffects of Sleep Deprivation881 Words   |  4 PagesSleep is an essential part of life. Without sleep, the body does not get the energy that it needs to function. Yet a large amount of people do not get anywhere near the amount of sleep they need. Whether it is because of medical reasons or because there just is not enough time in the day, sleep deprivation is a major problem in todays society. The many people who do not get enough sleep usually end up suffering the consequences. No good can come from not getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation hasRead MoreSle ep Deprivation : Symptoms And Treatments1417 Words   |  6 Pagesexperiencing sleep deprivation or not having enough sleep will cause one to be frustrated. It is not a decent experience to have. Whenever we have sleep deprivation or have little sleep, we become less productive and not concentrated the next day. As these things happen, bosses will scold us or we will fail our tasks. While we fail, or get scolded, the mood at that moment is always annoying and unsatisfying. People who encounter with lack of sleep will know that having not enough sleep is the mainRead MoreEssay On Sleep Deprivation801 Words   |  4 Pagesthe world sleep deprivation could be detrimental to people lives and health. Without sleep Im a angry person I get real snappy and grumpy. I would like to know more about the effects of the lack of sleep that effects people’s lives. I know that without sleep you can’t function properly. Why do people choose to push themselves to the limit when they ar e tired? Who do sleep issues mainly effect? These are some of the questions that I have pertaining to sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation is a global

Product Development Management Conference

Question: Discuss about the Product Development Management Conference. Answer: Introduction: Performance management is a wide and a complicated process in the function of Human Resources (HR) team. It comprises of the activities such as complex setting of goals, constant review regarding the progress of the firm and an effective communication process involving the process of feedback. It also includes improvised performance concerning the mentoring of the employees, developing new programs to educate employees, bringing out the potential of the workers, and rewarding them for achieving more than the target goal (Van Dooren, Bouckaert and Halligan, 2015). Thus, it can be defined as the systematic process by which the entire organization benefits from the benefaction of the training that is received by the employees. A continuous communication process happens between the employees and the supervisors all the year round and is cyclical in nature (De Waal, 2013). Strategic Human Resource Management deals with the profitability of the firm. It is concerned with the identification of the internal as well as the external factors that enables the firm to have a competitive advantage over others. To achieve this feat, the firm needs to efficiently manage the costs and operate on lean or alternate resources, which will be beneficial for the firm in terms of profit. It depends on two resources, the first one is the human capital which deals with the knowledge, abilities and the skills of the employees. The second form of resource is the policies and the practices that are needed to support the human capital (Armstrong and Taylor, 2014). It consists of development of the descriptions regarding the jobs and the plans to enhance the performance of the employees, which directly results in the key areas of actions. The selection process is very important because the right employees are needed to carry out the specific job that is given to them. The performance standards in regards to the outcome of the job need to be measured in an appropriate manner and a benchmark needs to be set so that the goal of the organization can be achieved. To enhance the performance of the employees continuous coaching needs to be given to the employees and a proper feedback is required during and after the mentoring process is over. The organization should discuss with its employees on a regular basis regarding the outcome of the employees and the factors that led to it. The employees should always remain motivated and the promotions in the organization need to happen on a yearly basis so that the driving factor does not leave the employees (Yawar and Seuring, 2015). When the employees want to quit the firm, certain interviews need to be conducted to identify the reason of their departure. The process of performance management helps an individual to identify its potential keeping in mind the missions and objectives that the organization sets and the rewarding practices that the employee gets after the completion of those. By setting clear-cut expectations regarding the performance such as the actions and the behaviors, it helps the individuals to understand the job expectations in setting the standards and eliminating the factors that are not required to carry out that specific job (Bridoux, Smith and Grimm, 2013). The main aim is to build the relationship between the individuals and the team of employers so that they can jointly take the responsibility in improving the process of business and at the same time upgrades the skills of the employees within a management structure. The objectives of the performance management are that to enable the employees achieve better standards regarding the performance of the work (Frederiksen and Knudsen, 2014). The employees need to be assisted to identify the skills and knowledge that are required to perform the activity in an efficient manner so that the focus can remain on the right task. The employees should be boosted by carrying out employee empowerment programs and implementations of the reward mechanisms. A good communication system needs to be maintained so that the employees can clarify any doubts regarding the tasks and proper feedbacks need to be followed so that the employees are aware of the performance enhancement techniques. The barriers that can hinder the performance of the individuals need to be identified through proper tutoring so that it does cause any problem to the performing factor. The personal knowledge of the employees needs to be promoted and enhanced so that they have proper goals in their career regarding their skills (Armstrong and Taylor, 2014). There are also some concerns, which the organization needs to keep in mind. The organization needs to be fast in reviewing the results of the employees who have achieved their targets. They also need to chalk out the plans needed in the business in advance so that the future of the company is secured. Learning activities and programs needs to be developed on a regular basis so that the employees receive the best quality training that is present in the market. The superiors have to be free in mixing with the employees so that the communication process can be in two ways and not a dictatorial type of communication. The decision making process should be transparent and communicated to all the staffs so that they know in which way and how to proceed to the targets (Shields et al., 2015). The components of this system are divided in to six parts. Firstly, the performance planning process which is the most important process. It is done to ensure that the employees can have a proper view of the targets that are set and the areas on which they will be performing all the year round within a specific budget (Cummings and Worley, 2014). Secondly, the appraisals that are performed in an organization are twice a year in the form of mid review and annual reviews. The entire review process sees an active participation of the employees and the appraisers together and they discuss about the drawbacks in the performance and how it can be overcome. Thirdly, the process of communication and counseling is very important as it helps the organization in maintaining a free-flow of information between the management and the employees. The employees need to have an open and a transparent feedback process so that the top authorities can understand the problems that are faced by them in the organization and the allocation of proper training can be done only after that. The fourth process deals with the compensations that is given to the employees when they reach their targets in the form of rewards. In this process, the deserving employees are made to stand out in front of the whole organization and their efforts are recognized and rewarded. This has a direct influence on the self-esteem of the employees and it motivates them to work harder and achieve better things in life (Mone and London, 2014). The fifth process deals with the plans that are required in order to improve the performance strategy of the employees. This can happen through proper guidance and training that includes daily workshops conducted by experts to bring out the best from the employees. The sixth stage involves the appraisals that are required such as the vertical and lateral movements in the organization. This helps in identifying the potentials of the employees and the promotions that are gran ted are only to boost the morale of the employees and lose the monotonous habit of working in the same field (Cho and Korte, 2014). The Woolworths group in Australia is a classic example for the role they played in managing the performances of the employees. The company has promoted many individuals who have worked in the integral part of the organization. The growth rate is supposed to be more than thirty percent who have switched the roles in lateral movements and around eight percent of the executives have moved from one location to the other and in different divisions. The ability to retain the staffs is so high that most of the members present and past of around forty five hundred plus members is in the 25-year club. The employees in the firm have a flexible time frame as the company keeps in the mind the needs of the individuals and the balance between work and life is maintained thoroughly. The company also undertakes health programs such as the Weight Watchers and the Quit programs so that the employees are benefitted from these programs. The company also took the pain to vaccinate the employees against f lu, which was at one point widespread in certain parts of the country. The company also offers workshops on how to control stress and the health of employees and heart problems and how to tackle them (Woolworths.co.za, 2017). The remuneration of the company is also good as it gives proper incentives to the employees who have met their targets and achieved the goals that were allocated to them. The company offers remuneration in two structures such as the short-term incentive plan (STIP) and the long-term incentive plan (LTIP) respectively. The STIP is available to all the managerial employees who are on a salaried basis and the LTIP is offered to those employees who have a long-term interest for the benefit of the company. The company offers a variety of incentive policies to retain its employees and maintain a proper culture in their performance. The company reviews the performance of the employees on an annual basis from the managers and discusses the plans and targets that are se t by the company based on the key performance indicators (KPI). The company does this annual review to set the targets for the employees for the next financial year. The company also focuses on the training of the employees and provides day-to-day management training to its core employees and the forefront managers. Personal Leadership programs that are conducted by the company help the employees to find their inner potential and effectively manage the course of the work in a systematic manner (Woolworthsholdings.co.za, 2017). Another example is the Qantas Airlines which is an Australian company serving in the airlines sector. The workforce in the company is very diverse and includes the multicultural and the contemporary aspects of the nation. The employees are mainly indigenous to the nation, they receive proper training, and guidance through a firm called CareerTrackers, which is in a partnership with the airlines company. The company provides flexibility in regards to the workplace and the arrangement of the workplace related to the corporate and operation areas. The HR team selects and appoints the best candidates based on their merits and develops them through intense training programs so that the candidates are ready to join the team as soon as possible. The company also creates an environment of work that supports the employees and enables them to bring out the best work possible. The employees are reviewed on the basis of the performance that they deliver on the workplace both at the individual an d the team levels respectively (Eqextportal.qantas.com.au, 2017). The company undertakes certain programs and workshops to let the employees identify their talents and to enhance their work according to the qualifications that they were hired for. The remuneration that the company pays to its employees are all based on the qualifications and the role they play in the company according to their basis of performance. The amount needs to reasonable and competitive to enable people to get attracted, motivated and to retain the employees that are currently working in the company. The company also organizes various internal programs so that the employees are congratulated when they achieve their targets. The employees are encouraged to compete with each other so that they put their best foot forward irrespective of the race, gender and the disability factor if any (Qantas.com, 2017). Therefore, to conclude performance management strategy the human resource team of a company needs to be well informed and updated on the daily proceedings of the company. The team needs to actively participate in the recruitment process of the company so that the best workers are hired in the company to get the output that the firm desires. The team should organize proper programs that will indicate the potential that the employees have and apply it in to the work place (Goetsch and Davis, 2014). When some of the employees want to leave the firm, the HR team needs to find out the causes that are responsible for the people to quit the organization and the solutions needs to be provided to prevent the future extermination of the employees. This gives a competitive advantage over other firms to the company. The competition to get inside the company is very fierce due to the best remuneration rate it provides in the entire market and due to the training and practical methods that is done for the welfare of the employees keeping in mind that the employees reciprocate them with the best efforts in the work place. The reward systems that the company uses are also advantageous in the market because it gives an upper hand to the employees that are working and striving to get those rewards (Barney, 2014). Therefore, it pushes the employees to its maximum limit to bring out the best in the interest of the firm. Reference List Armstrong, M. and Taylor, S., 2014.Armstrong's handbook of human resource management practice. Kogan Page Publishers. Barney, J., 2015. 15 Firm resources and sustained competitive advantage.International Business Strategy: Theory and Practice, p.283. Bridoux, F., Smith, K.G. and Grimm, C.M., 2013. The management of resources temporal effects of different types of actions on performance.Journal of Management,39(4), pp.928-957. Cho, T. and Korte, R., 2014. Managing knowledge performance: testing the components of a knowledge management system on organizational performance.Asia Pacific Education Review,15(2), pp.313-327. Cummings, T.G. and Worley, C.G., 2014.Organization development and change. Cengage learning. De Waal, A., 2013.Strategic Performance Management: A managerial and behavioral approach. Palgrave Macmillan. Eqextportal.qantas.com.au. (2017). Workforce Performance Management Overview (Oracle HRMS). [online] Available at: https://eqextportal.qantas.com.au/OA_HTML/help/state/content/navId.2/navSetId.iHelp/vtAnchor.sintwpm/vtTopicFile.iHelp%7CHelpServlet%7CUS%7Cper%7C@sintwpm/ [Accessed 12 Jan. 2017]. Frederiksen, M.H. and Knudsen, M.P., 2014. An Empirical Assessment of the Links between Creative Actions and Performance in Innovation Projects. InProceedings of the 20th International Product Development Management Conference. European Institute for Advanced Studies in Management. Goetsch, D.L. and Davis, S.B., 2014.Quality management for organizational excellence. pearson. Mone, E.M. and London, M., 2014.Employee engagement through effective performance management: A practical guide for managers. Routledge. Qantas.com. (2017). Corporate Governance | Qantas. [online] Available at: https://www.qantas.com/travel/airlines/governance-structure/global/en [Accessed 12 Jan. 2017]. Shields, J., Brown, M., Kaine, S., Dolle-Samuel, C., North-Samardzic, A., McLean, P., Johns, R., Robinson, J., O'Leary, P. and Plimmer, G., 2015.Managing Employee Performance Reward: Concepts, Practices, Strategies. Cambridge University Press. Van Dooren, W., Bouckaert, G. and Halligan, J., 2015.Performance management in the public sector. Routledge. Woolworths.co.za. (2017). Make your performance appraisal matter | Woolworths.co.za. [online] Available at: https://www.woolworths.co.za/store/fragments/article/article-index.jsp?contentId=cmp202030 [Accessed 12 Jan. 2017]. Woolworthsholdings.co.za. (2017). Woolworths Holdings Limited. [online] Available at: https://www.woolworthsholdings.co.za/investor/annual_reports/ar2011/sustainability/governance/values.asp [Accessed 12 Jan. 2017]. Yawar, S.A. and Seuring, S., 2015. Management of social issues in supply chains: a literature review exploring social issues, actions and performance outcomes.Journal of Business Ethics, pp.1-23.

The Opal free essay sample

I watched the buildings pass by my window. They were the same, never changing buildings I had seen before, but because it was October, the colors were just that much greyer. The giant navy blue middle school doors were propped open by an uninterested boy in baggy pants and his heavy backpack resting on the floor beside him. The doors had just been opened, meaning it was just after 7:30 that morning. The usual florescent lights were noticeably dimmer, but that may have just been me. There was a natural smell, familiar to public schools that my nose was especially sensitive to. The conversations I’d usually hear in the hallway were blocked by the rising feeling I kept getting in my throat. I walked with my head down, which was weird for me, but since I didn’t have any close friends, nobody noticed. I walked into the cafeteria and got my usual breakfast: eggs, sausage, and a gritty substance that I would never call grits. We will write a custom essay sample on The Opal or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page I sat at a table alone and ate without a word to anyone, my mind fully focused on sending mental messages to my ill grandmother, who was being prepped for surgery. It wasn’t long until my daily irritants showed their faces to mock my size, my face, and my other physical issues, but I didn’t really care anymore. I picked up my extra bag, holding my school basketball jersey- number 55- and hauled it, along with my court shoes, to my locker. Though my disposition was different, the day seemed to be pretty normal. My feet hit the floor following my usual path, which I was sure was going to become a pit, like in the cartoons. I went to my locker, then my first class, which became more of a blur than a lesson, and then to the bathroom. I didn’t have to go like I usually would, but I went to sit and think, where I could be away from the guys that picked on me. I opened the small King James Bible I used to carry to gaze lovingly at an old picture of my grandmother when she was a teacher. It always made me smile. She had on a pale green, loosely fitted dress and matching shoes. The picture had heavy sepia, meaning it was probably o lder than my mother. The chalk board behind her was blank, but it had a residue that was hard to see unless you were fond of studying it, like I was. Her handwriting was beautiful, and always had been, just like her spirit. The picture and my hand holding it were starting to become a blur. I could feel a deep pain in my stomach, like I was going to be sick. I dried my face quickly, not wanting to lose the picture I cherished the most. My eyes were crying, but I couldn’t make a sound. The only sound in the bathroom was my deep and shallow breaths mixing together into a cacophony of breaths, like the aftermath of a 500 meter dash. I ran through the situation over and over again in my head. â€Å"She’ll go in, get the surgery, and I’ll go see her tomorrow. She’ll be fine. She promised she’d be at my graduation after all. Only five years to go.† I repeated the same things over and over again until I forced myself to believe them. The bell rang and the next few classes went by without me ever noticing. Lunch didn’t serve a purpose for me. My stomach went on empty. I spent the rest of the day with my eyes focused on the brown floor tiles, which were yellow in some classrooms. I went over what I knew about my grandmother again in my head: She’s 71. Her birthday is October 20, three days before mine. She’s been sick since before I was born with heart disease. I see her more than I see daddy, since we’re in different states. She meant a lot to a lot of people. She hated breaking promises, especially to me or Tia. She never got her driver’s license. I could feel myself starting to tear up again. I put my head down and faked a headache to avoid the laughs of my peers. It was my last class and I didn’t need ridicule or this lurking feeling that someone was watching over me, right over my shoulder. I watched the other kids head home from the gym door, where my teammates were getting ready for our second game of the season. I was the last one on the bus, and I sat as far away from the others as I could. I went back to my bible to look over the picture one more time before tucking it away. The bus arrived at Clarenceville Middle school with a half hour to spare. The team was rushed into the locker room to go over plays and things, but my mind was racing. I couldn’t focus on anything. There was one thing in my head: What if she didn’t make it? What would I do? Who would I talk to? What would I do with myself? Who would I be able to trust? I realized just how underappreciated she had been. I rushed into the nearest bathroom stall and hugged my knees as close to me as I could. I was the one person she saw every day, but I treated her so poorly. I remembered lightly wrestling with her, just kind of rolling around with faked punches and how her body must have hurt, but she put on a big smile for me. I never once thought about how she must have been feeling. I would fight with her, if you could call it a fight, then I would spend an hour doing whatever I wanted while she waited for the coffee I promised her I’d make. I felt like a huge rock had dropped on my shoulders and knocked a noticeably large chunk out of my shoulder. My mind went blank. I tried to remember the last thing she said to me, the last time I saw her smile, nothing. The game for the A team started and ended without me giving the slightest bit of a care about whether they won or lost. The game ended in an upset, 54 to 52. I looked over to the bleachers where my mother was resting her behind on the second row and waiting patiently, a straight look on her face. I could feel my stomach in the back of my throat. The usual shine I saw in her eyes was dim. She wasn’t happy. I could feel tears welling up, but I forced them back, not wanting my mother to see me cry, a trend that would continue for a very long time. The game started without much notice from me, but it doesn’t take long to realize the people around you are running at top speeds after a bouncing ball. I was the team’s best defense, so I spent most of the game watching my opponent’s waist, the core of all movement. If anyone I was guarding got the ball, there was almost always a turn over, but this time was different. The Trojans weren’t as good as us, but I wasn’t the only one off my game. We lost our game by the same two points that had eluded our better half. We all packed up our things and headed to the bus, but I headed home with my mom. The car was silent. She drove looking straight ahead, but before we could get to far away from the parking lot I asked a question I already knew the answer to. â€Å"Did she make it?† Her big dark brown eyes paned over to me before she responded, eyes with a deep sadness, they said what she didnt want to say, only they werent as modest. â€Å"No she didn’t.† Though I knew it was coming, I physically felt my heart drop. I wanted to scream, but I knew no sound would come out. The pain was so deep my young mind couldn’t comprehend. We both sat in silence, wishing we could have saved the only person we both cherished more than we did each other. I watched the building pass by my window. They were the same never changing buildings I had seen before, but because it was October, the colors were just that much greyer. My outlook was as different as every day would be without her bright smile to lighten my dark nights, but there was something different. Riding home, the silence flooding both our ears just as much as the sound of our truck gliding over the pavement, the sheet of night thinker that the sheep that birthed it, she handed me a ring. The ring my grandmother always wore was too big for my mother’s skinny fingers. The light gold wiggled around my right ring finger and held on tight, but not too tight. The opal resting in the heart shaped ring front shined just like her smile. The ring she was probably wearing the only time she was ever behind the wheel of a car, the night she wrecked four cars just going down the block to her house, the ring that saw her through her miscarriage and her ten births, the ring that held our shared birth stone. The ring was light, but the responsibility behind it was enough to crush a building like a wrecking ball. I gazed into the hypnotizing opal till the car stopped in the garage. I went into her room, packed full of fragrances, clothes, furniture, and knick knacks. I laid on her hospital like bed and thought about the smiling face I would never see again, the laugh that would eventually fade from my memory, the scratchy voice I’d loved since before I’d left my mother’s stomach. My grandmother always pushed me to be stronger, but it took her passing to drill it into my head. My sadness awakened a lurching desire to want to be better. I wanted, more than anything to make my grandmother proud of the baby that she couldn’t help bit spoil to bits and pieces. I wanted to be less of a burden on my mother, take her away from the pain and anguish I caused by not cleaning my room or not being the best I could be in school situations, but I’d end up putting more stress on her before I could put her in a stress free environment. Making the people that love me proud became my highest priority. I decided to take my pain and use it to bring smiles to the faces of others, just like she did for me. It was a hard change to make, after getting thin skin from all the bullying. I had to learn to make fun of myself so I could out talk my bullies without bring myself down. I basically invented the â€Å"I’m so fat† jokes. I found if I was strong enoug h in me to make fun of myself the bullies didn’t have much else they could say, the rap battle at the end of 8 mile. I decided to make as many people love me as she had around her. The hidden tears than scraped down my face, leaving a trail of their remains behind, would soon fade into a brisk smile that all would see. Being shy would no longer plague me, and I wouldn’t need a bubble to keep me safe. I opened up, slowly, and became the person I always wanted to be, with a few minor flaws, I even cleaned my room. Just like my grandmother, I aim to have wonderful kids and a wonderful family, and maybe I could even have a smart mouth granddaughter that I would spoil to bits, just like her.